this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
