is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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