I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
