You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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