I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She bit a glass in half.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize