so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Drunk is not a location!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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