the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
