I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
