honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
