what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
