My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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