i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
