Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
