So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
