TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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