I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
