you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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