im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
