So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My feet surprised me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
