Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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