Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
