Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize