I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
