Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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