Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Princesses don't give blow jobs
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So vagazzling was a success
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
