Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
