Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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