Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
