this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
