it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
