a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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