I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
