i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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