i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
