Someone shit on the floor
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
