Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
