Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
and she was petting her beer can
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
