Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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