after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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