its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
