JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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