I wanna bring you to show and tell
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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