I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
