idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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