Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
