She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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