Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
