If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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