so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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