My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
