I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
