Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
