I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
soo... how was my night?
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