Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Who died my cat blue again?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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