So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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