Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
