Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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