I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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