this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
