you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
