Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
