real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
