I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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