I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Panties = found
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
