respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
