she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
